RIP Alex Spourdalakis

Trigger warning for murder, Ableism, abuse

Please click on the photo to go to the Facebook page for Alex's Vigil

Note: It has taken me a few days to write this as I have been so overwhelmed by the intensity of my emotions surrounding this horrific tradegy.

I read this article a few days ago. It has been shared on a number of Autism Advocacy Pages. There are more and more news articles coming out as I write, updating everyone about the murder of this innocent child, Alex. I am disgusted to think that a Mother thought it was ok to murder her son. No matter which way you look at it, it is still murder, regardless of the reasons surrounding why it happened and what lead up to it happening. I do not get why so many people have so much sympathy for the mother and caregiver when Alex lost his life at their hands without having any say. It is truly, truly horrific!

I saw the above photograph of Alex came up on my Facebook newsfeed and I cried when I first saw it. That was the first time the reality hit me of how heartbreaking the whole tragedy is. He looks so innocent and happy. It broke my heart to see him and know that he is dead. He is the innocent victim who had no choice whatsoever what happened to him. It breaks my heart to think that his own Mother thought it was ok and the only option was to kill him.  Did anyone who treated him ever try to help him communicate his needs? Or did no one think of doing that? I have often wondered that.

There are many who are saying they feel sorry for his Mother and understand why she did it. But what about Alex? How he felt? What he needed? What about his dreams for his life? What about his voice?

It feels horribly close to home for me. I am on the Spectrum. I am Autistic. I have times where I am non-verbal due to shutdown. It terrifies me to think that if I am in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people that I could get treated as Alex did. What if that were me? Non-verbal. No one to understand me or even willing to try. I would be angry and frustrated. My Autistic traits would become more severe because I felt so unheard and misunderstood. I would feel less than human, in a sense. That I was just a thing, a doll.

I recently had an experience where I had to advocate for myself. It involved a misunderstanding with my family and how they supported me. I wore myself out trying to advocate for myself as they did not understand me. We had a family meeting with my Psychologist and sorted it out. Imagine if I were non-verbal. In fact there are times where I did go into shutdown and was non-verbal. How would I be treated? It truly terrifies me to think how different things would be for me if I were non-verbal all the time.

Now imagine you are Alex. You can't speak. You are in pain. No one is listening to you or attempting to even communicate with you. Now imagine how frustrated you would feel. You are treated as less than human simply because you cannot speak. It is Ableism. It is wrong. It is unfair. It is for this reason that I feel so strongly about Autism Advocacy. To prevent another Autistic child from being so brutally murdered.

I must advocate for myself, and for others like Alex. To change how the world sees us. Not as an epidemic or a crisis but as differently-abled people who do things differently, communicate differently and see the world differently. We are human first and foremost. We demand and deserve to be treated as such.

RIP Alex. My tears fall for you. My words are for you. My Advocacy is for you and many others before you who have been cruelly murdered, abused or mistreated. May we on the Spectrum make a difference with our Advocacy. You are my Spectrum brother and it hurts me to read what happened to you. 

Many will not agree with me and my views. Alex was part of my family. The spectrum family and we must look out for each other as a family. Our Spectrum brothers and sisters.

Karla from Karla's ASD page made this slide. It is so articulate.

Further reading:

The list grows longer

Culture of Misery and how it contributed to Alex Spourdalakis' death

The real Epidemic

Mother, caregiver charged with Autistic teens murder

Snapping, flipping and killing: How high stress levels, violence and even murder are privilege for normative adults

Mourning Alex Spourdalakis, seeking change

Autism Wars - articles about Alex Spourdalakis

My wibbly, wobbly rantings about the murder, yes the murder of Alex Spourdalakis

ThAutcast: Aspergers and Autism Community status about Alex Spourdalakis

When an Autistic Child is killed

RIP Alex Spourdalakis - yet another Autism murder

What about the murdered Autistic children?

The Deadly double standard

Autism biomed and the murder of Alex Spourdalakis