A poem by one of my Autistic friends.

This amazing poem is written by one of amazing friends. Enjoy! I relate to so much of it. I got quite emotional reading it.

Musings of an Autistic Mind

How can I make you see my world?

This existence I live, you cannot perceive

Colours are bolder and brighter

They speak a different language to me

A highlighter on life lets me embrace

Things you may not see

You think I am looking at you

I am talking to you

Though distracted by 

That colourful necklace you always wear

Small things demand me to notice them

Like a great big neon sign

Pointing and saying

Look Here!

Lights illuminate the darkness , but

They test my tolerance and become too much

That flickering fluro light

Hurts my head tonight 

Fragrances assault my senses

Some tell tales of beauty

Others make me feel like I’m drowning

I cannot breathe

I channel your life 

Completely by accident

You are pregnant, I’m sure

My sense of smell and taste has gone into overdrive

Should I have not said anything?

You look at me like I am crazy

But you take a test

I’m right.

I feel out of synch with your expectations

Confused and desperately trying to decode

What you are really not saying

Social situations leave me reeling

As I try so hard to mimic 

What I think you want to hear

But end up sounding like a parrot

Or that I simply don’t care

Endless lines of coding in my brain

If, Then, Else

If only friendships could be that easy

Most people leave me open and raw

A wound constantly tearing 

This me I am, apart

So easily damaged

My heart beating, exposed

Oh and lust

Dearest obsessions

You fill my mind and steal away my thoughts

I get lost in the endless abyss of details

Object, animal, human being

All hold the possibilities

Of all consuming passions

To know so completely and 

Master your inner workings 

I want to be your everything

All or nothing

On or off

Black or white

I am bound

Overwhelmed

And oh so tired

Drained 

Or bouncing off the walls

With inspiration, colour, life

My mind racing

I cannot sleep tonight

A seesaw of emotions

In endless waves rush in

To consume me

Drown me

Violently accost me

Or

Envelop me

Smother me

Lovingly melt me

All are invasions of 

Others thoughts and feelings

So confused

Is this feeling

Me or you?

No wonder I avoid crowds

They bombard me

All six senses

So much conflict

So much noise!

I lose who I am

Who am I?

I know I have empathy

I feel it all too much

Someone turned it way up

I find myself in your shoes

Even when I don’t want to

So I put myself last

Always last, 

Ever loyal

My needs surpassed

~Cherie Patrick.