Wednesday, 5 June 2013

Frustration, anger, Autism and others expectations

This blog post sums up how I feel about the world right and how my family makes me feel. They try to support and understand me, but unfortunately it does not come across that way to me. I don't have many words to write because I am so drained by all the stuff going on in my life and with my family right now. I love my family and am very grateful for the support they have given me. I fear now we are not able to understand each other very easily anymore. Especially as I am understanding myself better and how my brain works. We are at a crossroads, my family and I. We will either work this out, or go our separate ways. It is a shame it has come to this, but for my own health I cannot keep advocating for myself to people who simply do not understand me. I do not know how to explain myself any more clearly to them. I am too worn out from trying. I need to concentrate on recovering and coping better. I don't need to be constantly explaining myself to people who just do not understand me when I am already so incredibly drained. I don't need judgement when I am vulnerable. 

The quote below was shared in a Facebook group I am part of and it is very relevant to my journey. I am exhausted, experiencing Autistic burnout but I must keep standing strong and advocate for myself.

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself.”
― Harvey Fierstein

That is all I can manage. I feel like hiding in a hole for a week or two, but not possible in my life right now.

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You don't have to agree with all that I am writing about, however please refrain from name-calling, belittling, and bullying. That will not be tolerated here. Thank you.