Tuesday, 25 June 2013

My Spectacular Breakdown: Action plan

Other things I am doing to help myself: making a big visual schedule with tasks broken down into doable easy to remember steps, an emotion meter, a spoon meter, a washing roster on it with wash cycles on it, a flexible weekday plan/schedule, a crisis/emergency day plan, a job list of jobs broken down into small doable tasks. I will have a BIG warning on it saying that I only need to do what I can manage and to not get overwhelmed.

I am also hoping to buy the CAT kit by Tony Attwood as I believe it will really help me with my stress, anxiety, emotions and other things.

I am going to make up different scenario social stories to help me cope with the unpredictable from pixton.com.

I am in the process of trying to set up an emergency activity box for Possum on days where I am not coping and he's home. Ideally I would like to have a number of activities set up and ready to go.

I have just bought myself a small week to a page end of financial year diary (July 2013-June 2014) which will help me not to overload myself with appointments which happened this past week. I rely on my phone for appointments and set reminders for the, because I can't see the week laid out in a visual calander I have tend to book too many things for one week and then spend the following week in recovry mode. The week to a page diary will certainly help me achieve this. The Early Intervention Specialist told me to schedule in 'nothing days' where I just do nothing but self-care and whatever I feel up to doing.

All of the above things I need to do requires a lot of energy and money which I don't have enough of. I desperately need extra support and money to be able to do these things which is why I am hoping my disability appeal will be accepted.

With the visual schedule I don't even know how to break it down into smaller doable tasks. It feels rather overwhelming. Yet I desperately need it. It is the same for the other things I am trying to do. It is overwhelming and challenging. I am going to take it verly slowly and ask for help.

My executive function is low. I find it difficult to do basic things like cooking, cleaning, organising and relationships. I use most of my spoons trying to manage my life as it currently is with the responsibilities I have. Anything extra and unpredictable wears me out hugely. I don't have the energy to cope with anything extra. I am using my spoons to cope with what I need to do to cope better. It really is 1 step forward and 3 steps backward so I feel I am barely getting anywhere, that I am stuck in a vicious cycle.

This is not something I can just snap out of suddenly and I will be ok. There is no quick fix to this situation. I know what I need to do but it will take time to heal and improve.

I have this desperate need to write. I need to write it all out of my head, to help me process everything, to help me understand myself better. Writing is a necessity for me right now. I write in utter desperation to get it all out of my head, to finally understand myself. I will stay stuck if I do not write. I feel called to Advocate for myself and others on the Spectrum. I have finally found my calling.

I am at peace with where I am at right now.

Summarised version here.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for writing this. I am a mother of an 18 month old, on the spectrum myself, and I've been struggling in a burnout for the last 6 months. I've just been barely scraping by, but the last two months have been increasingly difficult in maintaining a decent level of executive function.

    This is such a sucky thing to go through, but it is comforting to know I'm not alone. Thank you for writing about this topic. There aren't many resources out there other than what's on wrong planet and the things Karla Fisher put out.


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